Eliminate Wordiness and Redundancy

Sharpen your writing! Practice eliminating wordiness and redundancy for clearer, more concise sentences.

This Friday is the premiere of the much-anticipated spring musical. It will be held at the auditorium in the school. With a cast of thirty students, this is the biggest production ever! Tickets are only $10 dollars. Profits will be used by Mr. Williams to buy musical instruments for the music department. Doors open at 7 p.m. at night, so be on time!Which sentence from the passage is NOT wordy or redundant?(HINT: Reread each answer choice carefully.) It will be held at the auditorium in the school. With a cast of thirty students, this is the biggest production ever! Profits will be used by Mr. Williams to buy musical instruments for the music department. Doors open at 7 p.m. at night, so be on time! The Venus flytrap obtained its name from what it does in effect to catch insects. The leaves of this plant are covered with short, stiff hairs called trigger hairs. When an insect bends these hairs, the two lobes of the leaves snap shut, trapping the insect inside. The trap works like a stomach, secreting digestive juices that slowly dissolve the insect.Which is the BEST way to make the first sentence more concise?(HINT: Descriptive nouns and strong verbs are more likely to be concise.) The Venus flytrap obtained its name from its technique for catching insects. The Venus flytrap obtained its name from what it does in a sense to catch insects. The Venus flytrap obtained its name from its actions involving catching insects. The Venus flytrap obtained its name from how it acts to catch insects. The Fate of Stars Although our sun is more than one hundred times the size of Earth, it is an average-size star. Stars of average size are destined to become white dwarfs. White dwarfs are stars that have used up and exhausted their nuclear fuel. When stars are dying, they throw off their outer layers, gradually shrinking in size until only the core remains. This extremely hot core is called a white dwarf. No longer producing any energy, white dwarfs gradually cool down. Their light grows weaker until they become black dwarfs, or dead stars. Not all white dwarfs die a slow death. When a white dwarf is close enough to other stars to exert gravitational pull, it may draw in hydrogen and other matter from those stars into itself. The build-up of hydrogen will cause nuclear fusion, or a release of an enormous amount of energy. The star, which becomes very bright, is now called a nova.Which phrase from the passage is redundant? “exert gravitational pull” “and other matter” “used up and exhausted” . “becomes very bright” Read this sentence: When stars are dying, they throw off their outer layers, gradually shrinking in size until only the core remains. Which word or phrase should be deleted to make this sentence more concise? . “throw off” . “gradually” “in size” “only”